Life, Love and Career – is there a way to find balance, happiness and stability?
With Valentine’s Day coming up this weekend, we’re pretty sure you’ll be thinking about your love life, your career, your level of happiness and maybe even a combination of everything. So we’re bringing back a phenomenal series created by our former editorial director, Jovie Baclayon. Every Friday for the next 3 weeks we’ll post Jovie’s articles on achieving success in your professional and personal relationships.
Loving yourself means living life by your own rules — not your parents’. While they may want what’s best for you, it becomes problematic if they they push you into a career, major or relationship that’s not at all what you want.
In part 1 of YSN.com’s 4 week series about achieving success in your professional and personal relationships, we’ll discuss cutting more than just the apron strings.
Here’s the inspirational story of one young man who started living his dream once he began living life on his own terms.
Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!
Living Your Own Life: We know that cutting the cord with your parents can be a painstaking process; and it’s even harder if you are trying to break free from living out the dreams they created for you. All too often we hear from people who became lawyers or went to Ivy League schools just to please their parents. Some are incredibly unhappy later in life because even after all that schooling, they still dream of being an artist or entrepreneur but think it’s too late.
Scott knows exactly what it’s like to have to earn the right to define success and failure on his own terms. He grew up in conservative Wisconsin and his parents had his life planned out, from being in the right groups and classes to playing the right sports. Scott’s passion for culinary arts began when he was 6 and his mom gave him a Fisher Price oven, but he was always told: “Cooking is a hobby and it should stay a hobby.” His parents always embraced the qualities that made him different and unique (like his rock and herb gardens) but in terms of Scott’s career, they were determined that he was going to use his brain. He majored in linguistics and international business in college but in between semesters, he begged his parents to go to culinary school. Their response? He could go – as soon as he finished his undergrad (not thinking he would actually pursue it). But upon finishing the prerequisites, Scott was tired of living a life that wasn’t his and delivered the one, two, three punch: he dropped out of college, came out of the closet and told his parents he was going to culinary school!
Although financially on his own, Scott finally had his parents’ support. He saved enough money to head west, hoping to be accepted to the California Culinary Academy (of course he was). Now, Scott operates Chileco Catering, unveiled Chi Cuisine organic product line in fall 2007, and is consulting on a new restaurant/lounge in Central California where he will be the executive chef.
With his increasing success, the only thing his mom asks for these days is that she gets all the credit “when he makes it on Oprah.”
She gave him the Fisher Price oven, after all.
Jovie Baclayon is a communications associate for the Young Presidents’ Organization and a freelance writer based in Santa Monica, California.
Be Sure to Check Out the Entire Series!
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I love this story. I was the same, except that I always wanted to be a fashion designer and my parents told me I’d be poor and have no friends if I actually chose that path. Midway into my Biology major education, I did an amazing fashion internship, was yelled for it by my parents (“That was the most wasteful summer of your life! You could have been taking a chem classes!”), and then my life changed. I chose to pursue my own dreams and am now doing what I LOVE. It is all possible. It is in your control. I’m not saying it was easy to break free, because it wasn’t, there was a lot of tears and screaming that occurred. But I am here now. And I am happy.
Wisconsin isn’t really all that conservative, perhaps some counties but not the state.
I’m facing a lot of the same issues. For instance, I want to move to a different state but I won’t because my parents (mom mainly) is dead set against it using all sorts of guilt-tripping and manipulation techniques. Her saying is, “I can do anything I want to do there, here.” Which is completely untrue. But I also want to be obedient in that I don’t want to do anything unless I have the blessings of my parents. That approach is wearing me thin though. The fact is, I’m lacking courage to do what’s right by me.