Rama’s Screen: Top 10 Worst Movies of 2007

Welcome to our weekly column by YSN member and movie aficionado Rama Tampubolon. He runs the movie review and discussion blog, Rama’s Screen, and was featured in “United 300,” which won for “Best Spoof” at the 2007 MTV Movie Awards. He’ll discuss the latest hot topics and movie reviews every Thursday on Waste Time Wisely.

There were many movies this year that made you wish you weren’t a movie lover. They made you wonder why the Gods of Cinema would let such monstrosity happen. It’s those types of movies that ruined your Saturday night with friends at the movie theater or when you thought it would be fun to watch them at home on DVD.

I realize life is filled with ups and downs, joy and disappointments, but these following movies should be in a shameful category of their own. Here are the stinkers of 2007:

You’d think a game that is violently cool would have a movie adaptation that’s just as cunning. Timothy Olyphant should beg for David Milch to resurrect TV’s Deadwood because it might be difficult for him to make a comeback after unsuccessfully portraying the bar-coded bald head assassin.

Could someone please write some good script for Cuba Gooding Jr. to do!? I’ve seen Saturday Night Live sketches that are funnier than this disaster. He’s become one of the past Oscar winners who seem incapable of getting nominated again. He needs to stop making movies because of his friends’ connection and start making movies that are challenging.

Let me make this simple and to the point: The only thing that needs to be invisible is the movie itself.

Clearly this was a terrible year for sequels. I could also throw in Resident Evil 3 and Pirates of the Caribbean 3 to the group but nothing was a bigger let down than this one. The problems started from bad casting all the way to the storyline that was way too focused on romance but came across as trying too hard and therefore cheesy and very unheroic.

And just like Cuba Gooding Jr., the great Ben Kingsley hasn’t been making great choices lately and this is just the most recent of his unpardonable sins. This movie is a poor excuse for an epic film. It stars one of the most beautiful women on Earth, Aishwarya Rai, but the plot, directing, graphics and acting are all anything but beautiful.

For the love of chocolate (and I do love chocolate, by the way)! Sitting through this movie felt like torture, the kind of pain that not even Hostel movies could inflict. The only joke was on me for having high expectation and thinking it would be funny.

It’s one of those movies that meant well but wasn’t executed well. It has a strong message and is definitely relevant to the terrible situation happening in the world today but it would’ve been better if it has been handled by a different filmmaker, someone who’s experienced and really knows how to combine thriller and drama. This is also proof that having all-star cast doesn’t always guarantee greatness.

Lindsay Lohan at her worst, well that’s probably her everyday real life story, this movie just validates it. This movie was confused as to what it actually wanted to be. Sometimes it imitated Showgirls while other times it tried to copy Saw. At one point it looked like it may have a good twist at the end but then it fooled you again because it took away our frustrations and double them. It’s just one giant mess.

I kept asking myself, ‘Why did Sandra Bullock agree to do this film?’ Slow doesn’t even begin to describe how terrible it was. One thing useful about this movie is that… if counting sheep doesn’t work for you, this will definitely put you to sleep. So watch it before you go to bed.

Wow! Have you seen this movie? Everybody involved in the production needs to be banned from ever doing anything anymore… not just making films… Anything! There are movies out there that you think should’ve gone straight to DVD because of the horrible quality, well Dragon Wars should’ve gone straight to VHS… locked away in some storage somewhere never to be seen again.