How to Tap Into Your Inner Desires

Do psychological tests really reveal what’s in your subconscious?

I thought I’d end the week with an intriguing thought since I was told by a fellow blogger that my last two posts were borderline depressing. In my defense though, I think that “8 Ways Losing Your Job is Like Losing Your Lover” is rather inspirational and timely with Valentine’s Day on the horizon, and “7 Signs it’s Time to Find a New Job” is relevant because of the day’s political environment.

But I digress.

I’ve already mentioned my love of brain teasers and IQ tests but I also have an affinity for things that may or may not reveal your true desires or personality. From Chinese horoscopes (Happy Year of the Rat, by the way!) to chain fill-in-the-blank emails, I’ll read them all – taken with a grain of salt, of course.

But there are 4 exercises or questions that I believe offer a more revealing insight into what makes you tick:

1. What do you love?
A few years ago, I was given the task of quickly writing down everything I love and then exchange my list with someone else. There were a few other activities, but the goal of the exercise was to find your passion and perhaps get some insight into yourself through the eyes of a stranger. I remember my stranger telling me that I was simple, emotional and very appreciative of the little things in life.

2. Who do you admire and why?
A psychologist asked me this one and my answers was Oprah Winfrey because of her generosity and philanthropy. He explained to me that I would probably be a happier person if I was more selfless and giving, like Miss O. He recommended volunteer work or participation with a nonprofit.

3. What do you want in a partner?
This is probably my favorite and one I’ve told several of my YSN coworkers to try since it pretty much falls into the “you get what you focus on” belief. My mentor who worked for Tony Robbins recommended this one, which involves writing down every possible trait your ideal lover would possess – from hair color to level of success. Then you take that list and separate it into three categories: the dealbreakers (i.e. “must want kids”); things you can live without (i.e. “is a size 4”); and the things they can learn (i.e. “someone who enjoys rockclimbing”). If you want a meaningful relationship you have to have an idea of what you’re looking for. The idea is that you create a sort-of dating filter so that you don’t spend too much time on a Mr. or Miss Wrong, or quickly write off someone who could be Mr. or Miss Right just because he/she has brown hair.

4. What qualities do you dislike in other people?
This eye-opening question was also posed by a psychologist and makes me feel uneasy, admittedly because I don’t like what it “allegedly” reveals. I replied that I didn’t like selfish, judgmental people… which (apparently) are the qualities I don’t like about myself. Seriously???

Then again, what’s that saying? “When you point a finger at someone, remember there are three fingers pointing back at you.” Great…

Jovie Baclayon is the editorial director for and an expert in the experiences faced by emerging adults. To learn more about Jovie, check out her YSN portfolio and feel free to e-mail her! She blogs every Wednesday and Friday on Waste Time Wisely.