Help! I’m An Entrepreneur and My Friends Don’t Support Me!

by Jennifer Kushell on 08/17/2009

Saw this tweeted about online by @Nashay3 and it inspired me to repost.

Dealing with those less-than-supportive friends is an issue that few people talk about when it comes to dedicating your life to a startup. Having great friends around you for support is a must, but unfortunately, sometimes the people we love and expect to support us most can surprise us in adverse ways. Has this ever happened to you?

Look at the people you surround yourself with. Are they people who you respect? Do they motivate, stimulate or teach you? Do they discourage you, slow you down or get jealous about your successes? If they are uncomfortable with your lifestyle, fight you on your choices and influence you to make decisions that you later regret, you need to take a serious step back.

The wrong influences for an entrepreneur don’t necessarily have to be overtly “negative” to be counterproductive. Maybe you have friends who just don’t support what you do by not realizing how important your business is to you. Of course, the first thing you should do is to help them understand. But if that fails, there are a few things you can do to keep yourself on track:

Remove, avoid or limit negative or counter-productive influences from your life.
Don’t discuss business with people who don’t care or don’t want to understand.
Surround yourself with people you admire and who motivate you.
Read about other entrepreneurs who excite you.
Accept the fact that you’re different. And be proud of that. You’ve worked very hard to get where you are. Don’t let anything or anyone chip away at your success or pride in it.

http://HirizorHoldings.com Brian Rizor

Jennifer,
Just wanted to say thank you for the post. I am
one of those ever struggling entrepreneurs. My passion is about the journey and not just about the end result.It is excitement about new ideas and the desire to learn that have always been my driving force. Why do friends and family never understand that it is about the passion and not the prize. I see myself as a work in progress. They see me as too proud to quit. Thanks again for some helpful tips on how to stay the course.
Sincerely ,
Brian
http://carolsbusiness.nsedreams.com Carol Malcolm

Jennifer!

What wonderful advise… You know, I started my degree when I was 40, my friends and parents thought it was silly I try to change lanes so late in life- It’s funny because I’ve never considered staying the same forever and had a hard time understanding why those close to me worried about investing in education-

It is so true- each of us must find our own path…. some of us will explore many… Find well informed creative souls to encourage you– but most of all… keep encouraging yourself!

Thank you for the inspiration and validation in knowing that it is okay to break a few molds and pre-conceptions… Readers I think those friends and families just worry when our ideas do not match our loved ones expectations of what is “safe”… Entrepreneurship, and/or career changes to some seem SCARY- for others it is natural.
Don.

After working for two years on a web project I am very disappointed to see the lack of support from my so-called friends. They all want a job if I’m successful — one even asked to be a board member, but not a one (out of about 100) supported my project even though they all could have easily done so. The only people that helped me were family, for which I am grateful.

I now understand why some people leave behind the people they knew before they were successful.
Trevor

Words of wisdom,

This is very true. I am new to my career but the situations discribed are everything I am facing. The family does not support my new job or anything I tell them about. All my friends look at me like I am crazy when I talk about my future goals of owning my own firm. It used to be that entrepreneurship was the American dream but it seems to me that many young people mearly want to earn a minimal salary.
Enita Okeme

We need supportive and non-supportive friends and family in our journey of life. Always watch out whether the support is valid or not, using your inner conviction/conscience. Verbal or non-verbal criticism is better than flattery but we can turn such to our advantage with some proper evaluation of why, how and who of the critic. All said, very few make 90% success with happiness attached. The goal should have personal happiness as paramount.
Jen

I have recently become successful in my career and now feel very alone among my friends. Friends I have known for years have disappointed me, they did not attend my business launch party or anything else that I invite them too. I don’t understand it, I thought they would be happy for me, but they are acting like they don’t care. My family have supported me greatly, without them I don’t think I would have been able to start up my own company.

I find that people turn weird if you are successful…

It’s good to see that I’m not alone
Sophie

This was an old posting I came across as I was looking for advice for this online. I am pursuing my doctoral degree in Information Technology. I have had a long hard road to get where I am, and even people I considered long term friends are, as Jen said, “turning weird”. I’m being criticized for my life plan and made to feel as if I don’t have my priorities in order. My life isn’t going badly, as time goes on it appears to be on the up and up, but I keep being told I need to just quit my job because it doesn’t pay enough money, but my plan is to build on what I’m doing right now, not just scrap it. I find the higher I go, my friends are falling by the wayside because they don’t support me. I see why some people may say, oh she forgot where she came from, she’s a sellout because they are bitter because they got kicked to the curb for being non-supportive before someone became successful.
http://www.peteberwick.net Pete Berwick

There are ways to find out who our real friends are.
Many who would call you a friend are good for nothing
more than occasional lip service.
I have found the best way to move forward is to keep
your dreams to yourself and forget your friends.
Most of them are useless and really serve little purpose
except for chit chat.
kike

Wow awsome article, after reading this I’m going to keep on pushing harder n say #@%* ma’ friends
I’m 21 n I have no support, I just need to belive in me. Traveling is fun
Paul Chris Obiokor

I am contributing to this discussion specifically for my friend, Mr. Enita Okeme, and for the rest of the contributors. I think we all can agree that nobody told us life was going to be easy. Mr. Okeme was my classmate at YabaTec in the 1970s. Then, for me at least, my frame of mind was that my education will translate to job and “the good life.” But it was hardly so. This should not be news to my dear friend Mr. Okeme. But thank God for my late dad who was a progressive and a believer in education. He (my dad) nudged me to go to the USA. I came to the USA 30 years ago and have climbed the tower of education to the pinnacle. But I am still struggling. The question is why? You tell me! Upon careful reflection, I think that I can do with some help. But which one of my friends can I call on? Realistically, none! The reason is that there is high probability that my friends want the same help as I. So how can my friends and I go about cutting the “help” cake of life? The fact is we all need help. Who gets it and who doesn’t? Casual help is one thing and within reach, but real help is afar and depends on the kind. However you look at this matter, I like to conclude that God should give us all the serenity to accept the things we cannot control, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to understand the difference.
Novelist

I’m having a difficult time dealing with unsupportive friends and family right now. I just published a novel, the work of my life. For the past year alone, I’ve worked 14 hours a day on it to the detriment of my health and was so happy to make the announcement on Facebook. For my efforts, I received three likes and one comment. The lack of enthusiasm disappointed me. Quite obviously, no one cares.

I agree with Pete Berwick’s comment. The best thing to do is to forget your friends and move toward your dreams.
Novelist

I see you posted this two years ago, Sophie. How have things turned out for you? As I’ve worked in that field, I can appreciate your efforts, and I wish you the best. Despite other’s criticism, one must stay true to their dreams. I think you do have your priorities in order. You know what you want and are going for it, and that’s commendable. I don’t understand how anyone can fault that. I agree with you about why some friends get kicked to the curb.
Novelist

I was in your shoes a few years ago when I had major, overnight success. Yes, people do get weird on you when you’re successful. Some get strangely quiet and you wonder why–though I suspect it has to do with jealousy or insecurity. And then there are those who merely want to be your friend because you’re successful as if it can rub off on them. It can be a confusing time. When my success reversed, some of those fake friends disappeared. The quiet ones never came back into the fold.